“Hell’s Angels: Lithuanian Style”

Speaking of Afghanistan — here’s a phenomenal report from my friend Michael Yon. Seems that the Lithuanians are instituting their own unique form of Eastern European badassery out in the Zabul Province…
Lithuanian death bikes.jpg

Zabul Province give high marks to the Lithuanian Special Forces, who like to ride these captured Taliban motorbikes to sneak up on, and chase Taliban fighters. The LithSof are on their way to becoming living legends: Both Afghans and Americans report that the Taliban are afraid of the Lithuanians. Stories about them are filled with dangerous escapades and humor.
Americans say that the Lithuanians are sort of a weaponized version of Borat, who think nothing of sauntering around a base in nothing but flip-flops and underwear. They look like mountain men. They never shave, sometimes dont bathe, and often roll out the gate wearing nothing but body armor and weapons. Not even a t-shirt, an American soldier told me. The Lithuanians may be a little bit nuts, but the Americans love to have them around because Lithuanians love to fight, and when you need backup, you can count on them. That contrasts starkly with many of the NATO partners. Maybe when your country spends almost a half-century with the Soviet boot on its neck, its first generation of free soldiers know what freedom is worth and that you sometimes have to fight for it.

–John Noonan

  • freedomisnot4free

    Glorious soilder’s of the great nation of Lithuaniana love to make a sexy time with taliban terrorist’s mothers,daughters and wifes.
    LOL Its good to hear that at least some of our allies are truly bringing the fight to the enemy.

  • Vstress

    Something to point out, since my family roots are Latvian (neighbouring country to Lithuania), is that these countries (the baltic countries) have generally never fought their own wars, but have always fought incrediably well in other peoples wars.
    An example is that those members of the (conscripted) SS units in eastern europe… where the baltic countries were the few conscripted SS units that always did fight well, instead of the rest of them.

  • Wembley

    Great stereotyping, not sure what the Lithuanians would think of it.
    Of course they’re old hands at this…except last time they were in this part of the world they were wearing Red Army uniforms, Ironic, no?

    • AJ_LTU

      Red Army uniforms? Yes. By they’re choice? No. Guys we’re sent to prison for long years if refused to go. And the stereaotype… We don’t mind (well maby some stupid-one’s with no sence of humour does).

  • Mark Polites

    Does my Lithuanian heart proud. Actually I am only half Lithuanian. My family refers to it as being “Half Lit”.
    GO TEAM!

  • tontochoc

    Mad Max comes to Afghanistan

  • Brian

    “Very nice… how much?”

  • Ptsfp

    That is just too cool. God bless them. My brother just got back from Afghanistan and he was less than impressed by the “help” of some of the “big” name NATO nations.
    He said many just sat in their bases and took up space…

  • Sam

    I’m of Polish/Lithuanian descent myself. Nice to see this report. I trust the Poles have acquited themselves well too. Both are good allies of America now.

  • Alexander

    On bikes? Just amazing.

  • kert

    “these countries (the baltic countries) have generally never fought their own wars”
    Um, as an Estonian i can say yes we have fought and won our own wars. 1918-1920 against Soviets for instance, which got us our first freedom period after centuries.
    Go lithuanians btw, my GF is part lithuanian ;)

  • Thomas L. Nielsen

    It rather reminds me of the way I once had the Gurkha described (by a – non-Gurkha – member of the British armed forces): Act nuts! Make sure a lot of bad-a** stories about you are in circulation. Because if your enemy is scared sh*tless of you, then you’ve won at least half the battle.
    What was it Sun Tsu said: Make sure you’ve won before the actual fighting starts, or words to that effect ?
    Keep up the good work :-)
    Thomas L. Nielsen

  • dave

    If you think this has anything to do with Borat, your geography is as f*cked as Iraq. And I second the note that the SS were quite fond of their little Baltic buddies in the ’40s, too.

  • Paul D

    Hey, dont rag on the Aussies to much. The guys want action. Just our gov does not.

  • canucklehed

    on kind of an opposite note when I was in a-stan what always impressed me about the romanian guys was how they could defuze a situation. they would way rather hand out smokes and drink tea with locals than fight (me too if all I had was a btr.) don’t know how many taliban they killed but they didn’t make any new ones.

  • Wiccanwolf

    Well I can say the Lithuanians have a history of being fighters. Yes at one time they were taken over by the Sweedes, then the Poles, but they always have fought bravely. Remember tht even thought they were under the heel of the Soviets, they were treated a bit better than other “states” because the Soviets knew they were fighters.
    Now since they are giving the Taliban sheer nightmares all I have to say is “Make them fear their prayer rugs!”.

  • dbnodurf

    part lithuanian? which part

  • stephen russell

    Radical, send some to the US Mex border.
    More PR on these LitSof guys.
    I can see a movie from this?
    TV show?
    Graphic novel.
    Have some come to US?

  • Justin

    “weaponized version of Borat”
    greatest discrption ever.

  • marinegold

    Being a full blooded Lithuanian and former Marine I can believe they are the way they are, keep up the good work fellow patriots, god bless and “Semper Fi”.

  • 99th_BW

    My wife is Lithuanian; I can vouch!

  • Vstress

    Kert… please read the statement you just quoted “these countries (the baltic countries) have generally never fought their own wars”
    The word “generally” comes from the word “general”, which is an adjective – I quote the oxford dictionary (http://www.askoxford.com/concise_oed/general?view=uk)
    “adjective 1 affecting or concerning all or most people or things; not specialized or limited. 2 involving only the main features or elements and disregarding exceptions; overall. 3 chief or principal: the general manager.”

  • kondor

    Look up the battle of Tannenberg in which the Lithuanians beat the crap out of the Teutonic Knights.
    Not a surprise to some of us…

  • nata

    For all writers about wars of Lithuania –
    This is not truth; Lithuania had very long wars and won many of them. Please do not write at list if you dont know historical facts.

  • rico

    Lithuanian spacial forces do kick butt. very little high tech used during missions its all about common sense and back to basics and believe me , the results are and have been the best. hoooaaaahhhh. been there with them done that. never take freedom for granted like the majority of us americans do. It can be taken away in a heartbeat

  • Donatas U

    I have to say that 2 gentlemen before my comment are absolutely correct. I am from Lithuania and I know it firsthand. The are right.

  • Beargain MacErick

    I did not know that illiteracy ran so rampant during the Viet Nam war as it seems

  • Vladimir I L

    Remember that if it was not for the glorious training by Soviet Army, Lithuania would have nothing but a second tier basketball team. It was a wise decision for the Lithuanians to embrace warm friendship of their bigger and smarter big Russian brother. They would be stock being a small province of Germany or Poland right now which would be some sort of benefit as well. Instead, they are kind of free country with some sort of “free” economy, gigantic default and economic crisis. Hej, did I mention their soldiers are good?

    • ggge

      hey shut fuck up bitch! 1944-1953 we fighted against you without remorse. We were outnumbered 1 : 10 by Russian chicken shit soldiers and we still kicked asses. We don’t fucking fear you slavic bitches.

  • Odysseus Rex

    ANY ass-kicking troops in Afghanistan is a GOOD thing. There are ENOUGH “coalition” weenies cluttering up the base camps around Kabul, supposedly “advising” Afghans…about NATO logistics and personnel systems, and stuff totally alien to these “FOURTH WORLD” Afghans. IF NATO AND OTHER “COALITION” ALLIES WANT A PIECE OF AFGHANISTAN, send TRIGGER PULLERS, NOT more damn REMFs!!!

  • Donatas U

    this is Donatas again. Did I mention that those 2 guys were right?

  • Alvidas Mozhaikis

    Alvidas here.
    Donatas is right being right about those two guys

  • Kestas

    Kestas here.
    Alvydas & Donatas, those two comments were meant for you. If you admit that you are such like described by them, then fine! Good for you :) But don’t iclude me and other normal lithuanians, ok?

  • Falling_brick_blues

    Lithuanians aren’t all nuts, but their way of thinking might make others think of them as such. Contrary to what Mr. Parody-of-Lenin (and the two extensions of his name: Donatas and Alvydas) said Lithuanians never “welcomed” the soviets and never “embraced” their doctrine. It’s both strange and funny to read the words “Glorious Red Army training” knowing that the soviet union gloriously fell apart on it’s own. The same “Red Army” training did nothing to enhance the fighting spirit and mentality of the Lithuanians, except maybe harden them in battle, since our partisans fought soviet occupation for six more years (15000 farmers in camo against the might of the soviet army… what are the odds?). Needless to say, LithSOF are quite well trained in asymmetric warfare, so kudos to our big smart soviet brothers, for training us so thoroughly.
    And about Lithuanians who participated in the nazi holocaust – there have always been criminals and murderers, in every country. Lithuania is no exception.
    The soviet regime turned Lithuanians into a distrustful and narrow-minded folk. That is true. But if they are directed to a right path and pushed forward with enough force – you can’t stop them.
    Thank you for your time and luck in life,

  • LJP

    the lithuanians are amazing!!!!!!!!!

  • LJP

    the taliban is afraid of this small country. Taliban are idiots!!!!

  • ALG

    i am full lithuanian and proooouuud of it suckas!
    they are fighters alright

  • MadMike

    It makes more sense to me to roll up on the Taliban on dirt bikes rather than in some monstrous armored vehicle weighing several tons that they can hear coming a mile away. The Lithuanians have the right idea. Travel light and hit ’em at night.

  • Rim

    No surprise as the last of the soviet resistance died in Lithuania in the 1980’s. “The Partizanai” (Lithuanian freedom fighters) were a thorn in the sides of the soviet oppressors from WWII-the mid-1980’s.

  • Dave

    I am a US Soldier and was embedded with the Lithuanians in Afghanistan for a half year. I have gone on patrol as the only American with them on numerous occasions. I have trusted my life with them in the past and would trust them with it again in a heartbeat.

    As far as the article explaining the Lithuanian free will on and off base, I can also vouch for that as I joined in as well. When in Rome….