How Can You be Afraid of These Guys?

“Oh no, Iran’s going to get the bomb and nobody’s going to do anything about it…”

“You think Iraq was tough, just try to go up against the Iranian military…”

I know, I know…There’s plenty of reason why the US should avoid any military conflict with Iran over its nuclear program (assuming they even have one). The pitfalls of a kinetic conflict are too numerous to count.

But if the latest pics of the Iranian military parade commemorating the Iran/Iraq war are any indication, the real threat from Tehran is suspect from a conventional military sense. I mean, how embarrassed would you be sitting in that tin can torpedo stolen from a 1930s Buck Rogers set wearing a surplus Korean War Frogman suit? It’s absurd…

But, I gotta give the Persian Mullahs credit, they sure know how to trick out a four-wheeler!

— Christian

  • broken

    looks like they’re wearing a “multi-sham” knock off, knock off!!

  • Bob

    The Iranians are better equiped than the Taliban, and the Taliban seem to be giving us a hard time.. I would not discount them. Those buck rogers subs just might make it past our our high tech anti-sub gear.

  • STemplar

    I hope dude on the back of the quad doesn’t think he is firing the RPG over my shoulder, uh uh….

  • Joe America

    That’s almost as funny as riding a rubber raft up next to a USN Destroyer and almost blowing it in half.

  • john

    Yup, Joe America. I had similar thoughts. Could that ridiculous looking torpedo actually be a workable suicide vessel? And when our SF troops rolled into Kuwait on go-karts no one thought it was silly or ineffective, if my memory serves me correctly.
    Whether or not it does I can tell you factually as a combat veteran that the thought of soldiers coming at you on multiple ATV’s with gunners firing machine guns on each one is a daunting thought.

  • STemplar

    I suppose if a US ship were tied up in port, and we weren’t paying attention at all, someone might not spot Buck Rogers in his magic bullet ship, but I doubt it. Beyond being in port, you wouldn’t catch me signing up to try and pilot that thing near a multi thousand ton vessel moving 20 knots.

  • Mark Pyruz

    That first weapon type is the Al Sabehat 15” Swimmer Delivery Vehicle (Submersible) . It’s been a feature of Iranian military parades for years now. The USN SEALs actually possess SDVs, although there’s are more expensive and sophisticated. Same concept, though.

    As to the ATV combat teams, the Iranians appear to be moving up from their reliance on motorcycles. ATVs are more stable and are capable of portaging weapons and equipment. So it’s a natural progression.

    -Mark Pyruz

  • STemplar

    How would they swarm us? I mean it is was a big surprise during the war games when we did it to ourselves, but since then we get it. Since then we are aware. I suppose if they just up and decided one day to come out willy nilly and attack for no apparent reason they could inflict some damage. Any other scenario generally involves naval and air force aviation annihilating their port facilities before they even know what is going on.

  • Sev

    Just expct swar attack tactics at sea. They’ll try to overwhelm our defense systems. As for the ATVS…..idk. Just cut them in half. Although they’ll probably employ IEDs and civilians to do most of the fighting.

  • nadstornia

    STemplar appears to be holding the edge here along with a few couple of other people who are posting. Do you really think Iran has the conventional capabilities to heavily intimidate US and Allied forces? The US as well as it’s allies have the ability to cause a tremendous amount of damage to the Iranians before they are even able to organize and retaliate. If my sources are correct, the US only needs 6-8 B-2A Block 31 Spirit Stealth Bombers to neutralize a sophisticated network of SAMs and Radar/Communication infrastructures related to them. Thats just a fraction of our military stength wiping out a large chunk of the Iranians military power to progress actively against the US. Naval-wise, despite Iranian advancement in technology for surface/subsurface vessels the US has the ability to crush the Iranian Navy which most likely has little to nada experiance. Take a look at the USNs power to project force with just (1) Aircraft Carrier Battle Group and the Iranians will think twice before initating a Naval clash with the Americans.

  • Cyberarms

    It’s the typical Mid-East Rhetoric. Anyone remember Comical Ali?

    “The US is not in Baghdad and nowhere near Iraq! As a matter of fact…” – Comical Ali
    “Umm… Excuse me, can you move? We need to park our Abrams here” – Tank Commander

  • Adam

    It seems like a parade for the masses and not a real show of the country’s military might. A combination of disinformation and culture that likes shiny things. Heck the Iraqi police would wrap their ak’s in gold or silver tape to make them look “cool” or even tape a scope that you would find on a bb gun on top of their ak’s and call themselves snipers. If it can’t be used as a deterrent than why give away a capability.

    • jhm

      Really. appeasing the masses with atvs. That will make your citizens think your a great power! HA!!!!

  • Hellfish

    It all comes down to the ROE. If the US government decides to tie the hands of the US military during another war between nations then the Iranian weapons will have some effect. If the US government treats hostile nations as the should – with a ROE intended to treat an enemy that wishes to destroy their way of life as it should treat them – then the US Military would annihilate Iran. It may cost a few civilian shields but these should be placed at the feet of the “insurgents” – not the US.

  • prometheusgonewild

    Sure, laugh at the ATV’s.
    They are quick; cheap; easy to resupply; good on gas; and unlike all of our equipment, can make really good time off road. Easy to hide, hard to find….
    A couple hundred of these could play havoc with our supply lines. Especially in mountainous terrain.
    Not saying they could go head to head with us.
    Just that making fun of a bunch of guys on quads is a bad idea.
    Quads are much more capable than Jeeps, and Jeeps mounted with machine guns and antitank weapons have had success in North Africa in WW2 and in 1967 in Israel….
    Granted, not recent conflicts, but like I said, they are much more capable than Jeeps….

    • Donnell

      To Prometheusgonewild.
      Perhaps you have’nt noticed that all the US support vehicles have been up armoured because of the war in Iraq and the transportation units that drive these trucks have been trained and real world experience have taught them to be hard targets and every movement is under taken as a movement to contact. They can defend themselfs from some guys on a ATV and I see those guys on the ATV are very exposed. I believe that the Iranians would be very shocked if they were confronted with a US ground assault as the Iraq’s were. If my memory serves me right, these Iranians could not defeat the Iraq’s in ten years of fighting and the US military made it to Baghdad in less than 30 days,But then I’m sure the occupation would ‘nt be easy at all.

    • jsallison

      easy to hide…think thermal. I’ll guarantee the Persians aren’t. This is theatre of the absurd for them.

    • jhm

      yeah why don’t u ride one aganist a bunch of humvees armed with 50 cals and perhaps support gunships hovering around. those flyers would be itching for some juicy explodable targets after a decade of fighting insurgents.

  • STemplar

    Why would we invade Iran? At least the whole thing anyway? I think, I hope we learned our lesson in Iraq. Quite honestly Iran is doing a fabulous job of annoying its own people to the point they will probably oust the leadership themselves at some point.

    Now having said that, militarily we aren’t contemplating an invasion. Any military option is more than likely be a rolling series of air strikes over 2 or 3 weeks, during which time we would more or less sink their navy, destroy their air defenses, degrade their nuclear and missile infrastructure, and probably hit as many Revolutionary Guard facilities as we could find. That would give the Iranian govt plenty to worry about right at home in regards to clinging to power.

  • Byron Skinner

    Good Evening Folks,

    As I recall the Soviet Union use to have great military parades that lasted for hours. By the way what ever happened to them, after reading this post I sure do miss those parades.

    What really impressed me is the white sidewall road wheels in the BMP’s and the T-** or what ever tanks were the latest. The Chinese still are the best of the current crop of parader’s, those paint jobs the Chinese have “way cool”.

    Byron Skinner

  • Joe America

    Iranian version of a British SAS “Rat Patrol”.

    Yeah, they could hit and run and make some havoc on a supply route.

    Think unconventional.

  • David

    Whatever Israel wants the west must comply. Not sure why though.

  • Yamas@#ita

    Well it would take Iran a century to spend as much on their Military as we spend in less than a year on ours. So, yeah, if Israel says we have to bomb the knowledge of how to make an A-bomb out of existence, we’ll, I suppose we’ll just have to comply. Yeah the 51st state! Go Jews!

  • roland

    I am wondering why they are wearing US uniform and riding on a US made dune buggy.

  • Oblat

    US military spending is over 100 times that of Iran but it is so terribly inefficient that Americans have good reason to be scared of Iran. So far the Iranians have already won one proxy war against us and then we scored an own goal by handing them Iraq. Lebanon and Afghanistan are also turning out nicely for them.
    The sort of schoolboy boasting you see here is a measure of that insecurity it is part an parcel of a military that still sees its main job as impressing the Russians not winning wars.

    • STemplar

      Somehow I don’ t think having gasoline imports banned from your country or major air defense systems nixed qualifies as things working out well for Iran. I also think statements like handing them Iraq or things are working for them in Stan are just inflammatory trolling non sense. Iraq is trying to negotiate an open coalition government as a result of a free election, as opposed to Iran, which really doesn’t have elections at all. We didn’t hand them anything except an opposition in their country that was willing to march in the millions against armed thugs.

    • Philo

      iranistan won a proxy war against the US? And we’re so terribly inefficient that we’re bar-none the greatest military power on the planet? Hmmmm

      Oblat, I’d say you suffer from a nationalist form of “penis envy”. But keep posting bud, your “insight” is always good for a chuckle…

    • Philo

      iranistan won a proxy war against the US? And we’re so terribly inefficient that we’re bar-none the greatest military power on the planet? Hmmmm

      Oblat suffers from a serious case of nationalist “Penis Envy”. But keep posting bud, you’re always good for a chuckle..

  • mooallah

    If they fight our Marines they will get thier butts whipped, if they fought our overweight, drugged addicted Army is where we would have trouble

    • Bob

      Marines are not supermen. The Army has units every bit as good, or better than Marine units.

      • blight

        Gotta love this Armed Services mythos crap.

        Chuck Norris eats Marines for breakfast. An equally ludicrous statement.

        And I suspect the troops at Ft Benning and Bragg have something to say about “overweight, drugged addicted”.

    • Donnell

      Wow! Overweight Drug addicted Army, Its obvious you are clueless…

    • We got plenty of overweight drug addicted Marines too……frankly I trust some soldiers that I’ve seen more than I do some of the Marines that I live and work with

  • Jeff

    I think you are all missing the point, if conventional weapons were all Iran had NO ONE would care. The concern comes from their (known) chemical weapons arsenal and their interest (pursuit) in biological and nuclear weapons systems, piggy backed with their leaps in delivery systems such as the 1,200 – 1,800 mile ranged Shahab 3 and 4 and even the 200 mile ranges Fateh 110’s. Their air force, navy and AD elements would give us little trouble. If in 1-2 years they parade a 2,500 mile ranged Shahab-5 and confirm they can successfully deploy a 20 kt nuclear fission bomb on it well you still feel the same way?

  • derry

    One of those “silly” mini subs recently blasted a South Korean frigate out the water. The frigate was at battle stations yet didn’t detect the torpedo and was sunk in minutes.

    I think out tin cans packed with missiles is far more absurd.

  • tom


    I am wondering why they are wearing US uniform and riding on a US made dune buggy.


    One of those “silly” mini subs recently blasted a South Korean frigate out the water. The frigate was at battle stations yet didn’t detect the torpedo and was sunk in minutes.

    I think out tin cans packed with missiles is far more absurd.

    –both of these guys are right the guys on quads are wearing our uniforms (bdu’s to be specific) have our m-60s or the m-240b we use now mounted on the back of american made quads im not so sure those photos are real. as far as the sub goes thats true n. korea sank a s. korean ship undetected while it was at battle stations doing maneuvers so you might not want to make fun of them yet cause that attack shows that our sophisticated sub detection equipement is unable to pick up an old diesel powered ww2 era sub so dont think we’ll crush them.

  • roland

    I think it’s just a float and symbol that was displayed on the parade. Not a real thing. The man riding on a ellipse figure float could be symbolizing a jehadist man riding a nuclear bomb or maybe a giant toilet bowl. They know they are on international camera.

  • roland

    On the other hand the man (Quad) riding a ellipse figure float could just be a symbol for a mini submarine. They are building these mini submarine since April of 2006.

  • Iran are producing mini submarines since 2006 and mid size subamarines since 2008 for it’s navy.

  • Repent

    We should not even think of war with Iran while Obama is president. These Islamic fighters are weapons themselves, not afraid of dying and will fight to the death.

  • Benjamin

    I wonder how many rounds that they can get off before they do damage to the mount and the ATV.

  • OneofMany

    Underestimating the enemy is huge mistake. I thought Millennium Challenge 2002 taught us that.

  • amauyong

    To STemplar · 2 days ago

    Those are MG 3 copies of the MG42…

    Seems the Iranians believe in “fire-power”…

    Being fired on or suppressed by an MG 3 / MG 42 is no joking matter…

  • amauyong

    To STemplar September 27, 2010 at 3:21 am

    No no…i am not implying you are stating it as a joke…i am sorry if it comes across as that…

    I mean to all and sundry….it seems this vehicle is supposed to be able to do many “funny” things…

    1) The mounted MG 3/ MG 42 – Anti-infantry…and maybe anti-aircraft? Since the way the MG is mounted.

    2) A backup anti-armor/fortication support guy with that RPG…wonder what the back blast be like if fired from the vehicle.

    3) The vehicle is small – “air portable behind the lines capability” perhaps…do the iranians have a parachute unit…no scratch that capability.

    4) Vehicle is purposely also designed to work at very “short” range…the size of the fuel tank shows it all….maybe support within walking or marching distance of ground pounders?

    5) Finally, the speed of the vehicle is suspect…perhaps this vehicle is some kind of diversion ‘suicide’ type targets to save “high” value armor assets when defending or attacking another “armored” or “entrenched/attacking” forces?

    I think all the above “conventional” stuff they put out in that “parade” is possibily a red herring….once the Iranians have real working “nukes”…we will see them getting real “demanding” and “intrusive-like” in that part of the world with the thinking that might makes right.

    Neutral party.

  • amauyong

    To STemplar…

    Mein apologies…i am not implying you are making a joke out of it…

    I mean all and sundry folks that MG 3/MG 42 is a real pain dealer…forgot to add all after you STemplar….

    Again mein apologies.

    To all…the iranians “in-charged” class basic primary over-ridding objective is to get or secure real working “nukes”…with these in hand…these upper in charge folks will believe people must “fold” to their demands. Once you give in to a bully…it never stops.

    Look no further then the current spat between China and Japan….please note the Chinese boat captain rammed the japanese patrol boat [photos has show its sides badly damaged]…that is a deliberate “murdering” act….and yet…. China is demanding Japan to give in. A bully using its “economical” clout to get what it whats…once you give in…where will it stop.

    Doesn’t look good for all in the end.

  • fred

    “Any attempt of Iran to expand territory”

    Care to point me to where they’ve ever said they want to?

    “Kuwaiti, Qatari, Saudi Arabia” forces are a joke. Sure they have the hardware, sold to them by the west, but the skills to use them, and the willingness to get their hands dirty? No way.

    “Their surrounded by wolves ready to pounce.”

    They certainly are, which is why they are jumpy.

  • galloglas

    ATV’s give off heat while operating, heat can be located by IR and targetted.
    The only defense is to turn the ATV off which means the ATV crew become just another MG/RCL nest to bypass or over run.
    The sub can sail under a parked ship and do damage, hard to spot and detect. A moving ship would require the sub to sit and wait for an intersection of paths to explode which requires air and patience.
    To take out either would take a series of depth bombs for the subs and air dropped mines in their path.
    Not a battle winner for sure but a good way for the iranian’s to cause casualties.

    • STemplar

      The silly sub does not have the range to just sail out from port into the Gulf and find a USN vessel to park under. Look at it, it has zero comm, no radar, a tiny fuel tank. The Gulf is over a hundred miles across, they are not going to sail out into open water in that beer can and find anything. If they use a mother ship, that will easily fall under surveillance. The USN has a vast amount of persistant ISR in the air watching the Straits and oil platforms, manned and unmanned.

      I don’t quite know what scenario people envision for some kind of conflict in the Gulf with Iran. If people think the Iranians are just going to sail out into the Gulf in their missile boats and mini subs and we aren’t watching, then never mind underestimating Iran, there are folks here that don’t have clue one about the ISR capacity we have in the Gulf right now.

      If they take some kind of pot shot at some tankers it is going to be a very brief engagement. Operation Praying Mantis is a good example of just how quickly the USN will savage Iranian naval forces

      • crackedlenses

        The Army had to bail the Navy out on that one with the OH-58s, if I remember correctly….

  • shawn1999

    While I do agree they look ridiculous, let’s also not forget how a bunch of ragtag farmers and hunters cause much trouble for the British about 234 years ago…. We need to ensure that we do not underestimate these loons because a nutjob with gun is perhaps more dangerous- at least a sane person is still willing to listen to logic and reason.

    What I would be worried about most is the fact that these things are so cheap, they can be sent out and replaced in rapid succession. Even if every third or fourth actually works (due to faulty design or decoy tactics), it would still be difficult to stop many (in fact, I would even send a bunch of empties first so when they do breach, connect and fail to detonate, the opponent would have a false sense of security).

    Combine this with an ability to use those cheap, cost effective quads to move small units/armaments quickly, and the IRG’s knowledge of asymmetric warfare -because you know any fight with Iran is going to include them, in fact I wouldn’t be surprised if Iran put its army in front as a shield and delaying tactic for the IRG to to evacuate its leadership and initiate guerrila warfare

    We just have to trust in our military leaders to have plans and procedures in place and troops trained to deal with such attacks.

    • Philo

      “…Let’s also not forget how a bunch of ragtag farmers and hunters cause much trouble for the British about 234 years ago…”

      Yeah, except we’re not the British from 234 years ago, and these guys today aren’t even what those “ragtag farmers” were back then…

  • diablotakahe

    go read the equivalent journal to this website circa 1940. you’ll hear similar comments about the japs and their ricepaper airplanes, etc etc.


  • Brenden

    I really like the 5th wheel horse trailer with a rocket on it! Where can I get one, that would be quite neat to take to a horse show, I could get some real sales if I replicate it!

  • Radar9999

    All this talk of invasion is foolish. Iran is much larger and more geographically diverse, and the there is a larger population to deal with. Their conventional forces are likely to be a joke, however they are very prepared to fight unconventionally to oppose us militarily. The other big issue is that the garden variety Iranian, the baker, the doctor, the mechanic, the merchant, and students like American culture and Americans. They are at odds with their government and conservative religious institutions, but, like us, would band together strongly to oppose anyone setting foot on the homeland. Our issue is with their government and it’s policies. We should keep that in mind and exploit that the promote change in their political system and it’s policies.

  • Jimbo

    Read somewhere: “You Americans with your Land Warrior systems, advanced radars and death-ray beams… Some time in the future you will be so busy reading all your dials and screens that you don’t notice the old caveman-with-giant-club behind you.”

  • GrumpyOldSoldier

    Laughing at a potential enemy’s armament with no clue of what they plan to do with it is a great way to boost the sale of body-bags to DOD.

    Some possibilities: the funny little sub could deliver SEAL type troops, or one suicide bomber and a lot of explosives. The ATVs could deliver a lot of infantry to an ambush site, and then be used for extraction afterwards. By the time air support could be called in, they could be so far-scattered and hidden that their losses would be infinitesimal.

    For the benefit of the younger, high tech generation; ask your Dad to tell you about pungi pits, or your Granddad how German tanks were taken out by a sock stuffed with TNT and dipped in tar, or even how the Philippians could take out (as in destroy, not just slow or stop them) using logs. All those were silly weapons, but the dead were just as dead as if killed by a shiny new high tech toy.

  • GrumpyOldSoldier

    Sorry, typo above. Should have said, “Filipinos could take out TANKS (as in destroy, not just slow or stop them) using logs.

  • jhm

    they had armor support too. they were just the vanguard.

  • akhilleus

    I think you guys need to stop focusing on the ATVs so much as firing platforms, and more as battle taxis, like HMMWVs before they were press-ganged into doing everything under the sun poorly. I wouldn’t mind using that quad to schlep a GPMG and several hundred rounds of linked, along with my AG, several klicks up a pass or other terrain feature. Get set in a likely avenue of approach, coordinate with other a$$holes in the area, go loud and then bug the hell out. It’s valid for harrassment and interdiction. I dunno if that’s how they’d be employed, but hey….

  • Bob

    Yeah … Each time we consider people inferiorly equipped (Vietnam, Korea, Afghanistan…), we end up losing that war [cough] .. negotiating peace.

    yeah it looks ridiculous and so what? You only need one hand to kill someone.
    So How about we shut the **** up and start repaying our $100T debt?

  • Look at how those weapons are poised. They could only be fired if being chased. They must get chased a lot!!

  • Hey Bob, either stand behind and support our soldiers, or feel free to stand in front of them.
    The Russians lost their asses in Afghanistan, we’re still fighting the battle. We never lost Viet Nam, the north signed a peace treaty. Once we were packed and gone, the north renigged on the treaty and attacked the south again! Get your shit straight, or get the hell out!
    M.H. CSM
    Schoffield, Hawaii
    25th Infantry Division
    Airborne Ranger
    25 years of service!

  • Gerry Bin

    Yesterday, it was Iraq and now it is Iran. Strangely, if my country was surrounded by another nation’ army, I would want nukes, also. Especially if that opposing occupier force is guilty of using nukes and depleted uranium on non-white enemies in the past. Just a thought.

  • The thought of these guys, shooting while moving, 1 the guns are mounted to the rear so they can cover their retreat I’m guessing 2 have you ever tried to shoot from a moving vehicle? it’s not as easy as you think! 3 the fact that they have the funding to buy quads for their troops, that should scare you. 4 we need to be sure that they shoot at least as bad as the republican guard, before we tease them.

  • SittingMooseShaman

    …nice. But can they do…mud?!

  • Mohsen35 are afraid becouse we are powerful.because we have GOD and you dont. because we are free and you are free just in sex.because we know evrything is a toy and u dont.because we are 1 + lobnan and u are many but you are losing.because we see everything and you just see what freemasons give u.because of Tabbas.becasue we won in 8 years war when we had nothing.And so many things that your porno clips dont let u to understand.isnt it time to wake up ? isn’t it time to have freedom ? isn’t it time to have your country ? isn’t it time to have God?

  • liam

    If we ever do take on Iran…it’ll go some thing like this…”Iran….that was the WORST hour of my life….glad that war is over!!

  • I am going to straight away get a person’s rss once i won’t be able to to seek out a person’s e-mail membership backlink as well as e-newsletter service. Conduct you’ve virtually any? Please allow for myself know in order that I really could subscribe. Cheers.

  • Henry

    It is said that the Generals are always fighting the last war. I see though, that we have forgotten, in large part, several things.

    One, who are we really fighting all these wars for?(Hint: Follow the money).
    Two: Unconventional war has NOT been in our overall skill set since our own revolutionary war.
    Three: We laughed at the Japanese, Chinese, North Koreans, NVA, Afghans, and several others over time. ALL of them cost us dearly in terms of blood and materials.

    IF we go back over there to fight, let us do it wholeheartedly, with an actual Declaration of WAR from Congress, as the law requires. Then let us throw everything we can at the opposing side.

  • B-$

    Meanwhile, while we are all busy laughing at these atv riding die hards (who admittedly, in a big enough group, could make a decent sized mess of things), Isreal is stepping up their game in a serious kind of way.