25K sign petition to build Death Star

More than 25,000 individuals who live in the United States of America took the time to sign a petition requesting the White House dedicate resources toward building a Death Star of Star Wars fame by 2016.

No, really.

Much like Lockheed Martin and Boeing CEOs, writers of the petition claim the government has a responsibility to start construction on the Death Star because it will spur job growth in America’s stalled economy.

“By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense,” according to the petition.

Because they garnered 25,000 signatures on their petition, the White House will issue an official response. However, prominent defense analysts across the nation said the potential sequestration cuts could put the Death Star plans in jeopardy.

It’s unclear if the signees of the petition will accept the fiscal cliff as an excuse.

About the Author

Michael Hoffman
Michael Hoffman is the executive editor at Tandem NSI and a contributor to Military.com. He can be reached at mhoffman@tandemnsi.com.
  • BlackOwl18E

    This is why we can’t have nice things…

    • crackedlenses

      Forget building a Death Star, I’d settle for a successful moon mining operation. I’m not really sure whether to laugh or groan…..

    • JamalTheBanker

      Lets see, its Dec 20th. Can we build it in two days? Come on guys, lets all pitch in! Ill take my adderall!

  • blight_

    OBAMA SUPERWEAPONS TO PROTECT WELFARE AND SHARIA LAW

    /satire

    • A. Nonymous

      Good, I can feel your anger. I am defenseless. Take your weapon. Strike me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete!

  • Lance

    Your kidding me Lockheed is serious?

    Beside liberals like Obama hate WMD and the Death Star would be the best weapon one shot we are all dead!.

    Id prefer our sixth gen fighters be the X Wing and Y wing first before the Death Star.

    • Lance

      Naw I think about it lets build the Genesis Torpedo then when we wipe out life on earth we can rebuild it since Death Star destroys everything!!

      Another petition is coming for NASA to make a Voyager 6 probe so it can come back in 300 years LOL.

    • NeoconBrony

      Are you sure that you didn’t mean “You’re kidding me Lockheed is serious?” ? You’re is the contraction of you and are while your is the possessive form of you.

      • jerseybiz

        It was more than likely, an “auto-correct” mistake. Judging by the lack of punctuation, the jury is still out.

      • Mike
    • Steve

      rebel scum…., ahh i mean trusted allies

    • FunnyBone

      @Lance…
      Sorry, no way were building REBEL aircraft!

      Its TIE Fighters or nothing….

      :)

  • Rob

    Better off petitioning to build the Enterprise . So far starts we will need space docks to construct in space and maybe by time ship is in building phase we will advanced some in tech, energy and propulsion.

    Initial goals would be for finding rare galactic minerals for mining other planets/moons then asteroid capturing for resources.

    If not, hope they could build a biosphere on the moon so we can send all the criminals, troublemakers and haters there. Make the world a better place

    • Obvious

      They will build a new Enterprise, but the last one was just deactivated on the first. Give ‘um some time.

      • blight_

        Rob probably meant NCC-1701, and not a CVN.

    • dgh

      I’m a hater,(Republican TEA member) can I go!!!!Me me me

  • DougieR

    Congress can’t repel signatures of that magnitude! Build the frickin’ Death Star already!

  • Matrix3692
  • whoaa

    Lol, I do think we need a big project though to start up the economy again. Maybe a newer gigantic space station or we could build a giant stone wall around our borders.

    • Bryan W

      Yeah. That way we can knock down that old, french, pain in the ass, statue of liberty.

      Give me your tired, your poor,
      Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
      The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
      Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
      I lift my lamp beside the golden door!

      I mean, what a crock, right? (Insert sarcasm there)

    • Thunder350

      The wall we’re building to keep people out will eventually be used to keep people in.

      • guest

        It was a joke guys, calm down

        • Twidget at Large

          We call it satire for now…

    • Mike

      This administration does not want a strong economy. They want an uninformed electorate dependent on the government. Which is what we have. How else could onumbnuts get re-elected?

  • Nadnerbus

    Headline from 2022: BoingLockGrumMart Death Star set to cross the Nunn Mccurdy threshold at 3.5 trillion dollars. Company officials say most of teething problems worked out.

    • John

      2022? Stop. There would be a 125 year research phase costing untold trillions followed up with a few prototypes costing a few zillion at which point the thing would be canceled and the taxpayers would get no tangible benefit and the defense industry would make zillions while building nothing.

      Like the F-35.

  • mpower6428

    its official, we are a nation of idiots.

  • Becca

    From now on, I will never use the rhetorical phrase “How stupid can people be?” since they seem to have taken it up as a challenge. While I would welcome the construction of any new carrier (I live in Va Beach and they could use the business in Newport News) The Big E is getting #9 in the series before any stupid crap like that…..tell those people to make the USS Obama, a rowboat that finds itself up shit’s creek without a paddle. I can’t wait to tell my dad this one and get his reaction (he’s worked for Boeing practically since he retired from the Navy in 95).

  • Becca

    One last thing, this sounds like the job of NASA and last I checked, their focus is “Muslim relations”

    • blight_

      NASA has pennies on the dollar compared to their glory days.

      On the plus side, they paved the way for drone teleoperation…

  • Ryan
  • Amicus Curiae

    Anti-gravity devices and Time Travel machines are much higher on my wish list. That’s the ticket…

    • Doctor Batman

      Agreed. I would much rather have a TARDIS than a death star

  • Yoda

    That people so shortsighted. As if there were not enough wars here, you have to take the war into space. Why not make a scientific research station? It also creates jobs, or not? Or is it that instead of defending freedom simply want to create an evil empire, like the movie?
    How much stupidity!

    • Prodozul

      Did anyone else read that in Yoda’s voice?

      • TomUK
      • TomUK
      • Yoda

        What is it?

      • Menzie

        Is that a Russian car?

    • William_C1

      When you can obliterate anybody on the planet from space without trouble, there isn’t much room for wars. The Galactic Empire kept the peace and built important infrastructure across the galaxy. The Rebels were just whiners.

    • where do we go

      of course you must be from the left anything that has an ability to attack or defend is always stupid of course we can ignore all the other inventions that can and will come with this construction artificial gravity a solid base to learn to grow and cultivate large crops in space and the ability to move such an item say to other planets but of course we dont want a gun on it because nothing and no one has ever been attacked as long as its unarmed

  • JEMcKellar

    Can we build it out of hemp?

  • Yoda

    That people so shortsighted. As if there were not enough wars here, you have to take the war into space. Why not make a scientific research station? It also creates jobs, or not? Or is it that instead of defending freedom simply want to create an evil empire, like the movie?

  • Yoda

    Development in space must be for me, but the peaceful development. Take our narrow-mindedness into space only worsen our miseries.

  • Sandman

    Better yet, place the plans of the Death Star on a secure server of Lockheed Martin, have the chinese steal it, build it, and we buy it from them at 10% of our cost. Dang wanna see the chinese copy that!

    • Yoda

      Haha! True story. I agree. That´s another reason to build something with peaceful purposes. If the Chinese are going to copy, at least not be as dangerous…

    • 6113

      Oh, I’m afraid the firewalls will be quite operational when the Chinese arrive…

      • blight_

        An entire legion of my best haxxors, awaits them…

        • UAVGeek

          It is quite safe from your pitiful, little band.

  • Vaporhead

    I’m sure this will get enough attention that the Pentagon will have to hold press conference. This project could possibly get more costly then the JSF program, but unlikely.

  • Big Dean

    Just call it a “green” project and soon billions of dollars in “free” loans will be flowing it’s way

    • Small Dean

      “You” “got” “it’s” wrong.

  • Bill

    What do you mean they wan to build it…….they probably already have it!
    Did they ever find out what happened to the $2.1 trillion they announced the lost on the day before 9/11????? Hmmmm.

    • tired

      yes it went to help elect Obama

  • William_C1

    Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational government stimulus project!

  • blight_

    Remember, the original Death Star was built with the supermax inmates of the Galactic Empire.

    Unlikely to create jobs.

  • Tad

    If this a jobs program to create high-tech jobs, why not focus on space travel itself as a means of exploration?

  • Matt

    On DT, this is a blogworthy post. But Benghazi? Waste of bandwidth.

  • Sandman

    This must be a plan by the Government to get back at the chinese, keep posting super projects that they know the chinese are looking at. Have the chinese steal the bogus top secret plans…..and the chinese keeps building them. Lets see what the chinese chucks out over the next 5 years.

  • Belesari

    Someone please tell me Yoda up there is trolling? Please other wise he is a idiot and or completely out of touch with the reality of human nature.

    A universe without war? Sure there will be simply nothing…………void and formless….

  • Hunter76

    25,000? That’s not even interesting.

    There’re even more Birthers than that.

    • Menzie

      Thats the threshold needed for a petition to be taken seriously. You could petition for the name of the USA to be changed to the republic of the free. If you have 25000 signatures they would at least have to look at it. It would obviously be laughed down but hey…

  • Big Dean

    The Death Star-a 25 trillion dollar “jobs” program that “created or saved” 20 jobs-we still don’t know which.

  • Sev

    The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant compared to the power of the Force.

  • Belesari

    Someone please tell me Yoda up there is trolling? Please other wise he is a idiot and or completely out of touch with the reality of human nature.

  • Robert

    Covered in solar panels.

    Structured like a skycraper 7/or an auircraft carrier

    With ability to launch smaller craft or dock with ISS

    Largest telescope possible

    Research laboratories & space manufacturing, tourism and mineral extraction as external incomes.

    It’s really doable. just it would not be a moon of destruction, able to kill planets.

  • Chris

    This kind of thing is actually not a new idea in the least bit. There are reputable/credible geopolitical defense out there who think that one of the biggest black projects of the coming century will be the construction of a handful of “death stars” (for lack of a better term). Of course they will be nothing like the Star Wars variety but more or less a way to deploy weapons/boots on the ground in a rapid fashion should the need arise. We are the world’s police after all.

  • Dean

    Well…suppose this was considered seriously? How would you go about building a DS? Obviously we lack many fundemental technologies necessary and need to research them first. What would be so wrong with a new massive fundemental research initiative? Creates jobs, discovers new knowledge that will benefit broadly, will build the economy. Even if it take 10,000 years to build, we as a society are doing zero in terms of enterprise that looks that far ahead. We can look 10,000 years into human past, we need a vision for 10,000 years into the future.
    So yes, as a serious proposal, starting in 2016 lets begin on a new course for human history that looks 10,000 years into the future and invest more, much more, into basic science and fundemental research towards technological revolutions 1000 lifetimes away.

  • AmeriToast

    Is it sad i actually know one of the guys who signed the petition?

  • crackedlenses

    Considering Yoda is an aliens, it isn’t entirely surprising…..

  • Dan

    Seems like about the same percentage of posters here get the idea that this is a joke as signed the original petition… for those that don’t/didn’t, to quote the immortal Foghorn Leghorn “IT’S A JOKE, SON!”

    • blight_

      https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/secure-

      “Secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016.
      Those who sign here petition the United States government to secure funding and resources, and begin construction on a Death Star by 2016.

      By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense.”

      It’s more in line with satire, kind of like proposing to eat Irish babies re Jonathan Swift.

  • Amicus Curiae

    I find your lack of faith disturbing…

  • SANDMAN

    YEAH SURE, BUILD A DEATH STAR….. GENERATE JOBS THEY SAY…..WHERE AT ??? CHINA !!!!!

  • Mastro

    Well- the Death Star will probably be cheaper than one F35-

  • charlieg

    Can disney set up a tour of the deathstar, How cool will that be.

  • Nick

    I propose that during the next recession, we build the Death Star instead of enacting all that QE3/gov’t stimulus type of monetary and fiscal policy. I mean, we get the most powerful weapon that mankind has ever seen, AND we spend/innovate our way out of a recession. Boom. Kill two birds with one stone, or in this case, a big fat laser.

    And even after all that, it’ll still be cheaper than the F-35.

  • John

    Would like to take this time to say Good Bye DT you used to be worth a daily visit but now you’ve been deleted from my favorites.

  • explody thingy

    would we have to pay lucas a royalty for using the name ‘death star’? Lets call it death ball or explody satelitte thingy or some other non-trademarked moniker should be used. Have a contest to name it!

    • blight_

      Precision Global Annilhilator.

  • Kim

    Ok, how many of you would NOT have signed that petition, had you been aware of it? (I, for one, would have signed).

  • GUEST

    Concerning the rest of DoD’s Acquisition process with big weapons-it’ll be trillions over budget, take and additional century past deadline, and then THEY’LL FORGET TO PUT GRATE OVER EXHAUST VENT ;)

  • Curt

    Kind of makes the whole petition thing pointless doesn’t it? After all, if you can get 25k to signup for a Death Star, what good is your program? Brilliant political satire.

  • Woody

    Any attack against this station would be a useless gesture….no matter what technical data the Muslims have obtained, this station is now the ultimate power in the universe…I suggest we wipe out Muslimberg…

  • Adam Majkowski

    You losers don’t need to build a death star to destroy this planet. You are already doing it. Also, more people have signed the white house petition to legalize weed. About 30,000 more. Which when that happens will put you morons out of a job.

  • Randy

    The US already has weapons in space as of 1977. So do we get to see the names of the idiots that signed the petition? Perhaps they are some of the same ones who think Obama was born in Kenya.

  • Silverthorn

    The Mayans have reportedly completed their Death Star and are scheduled to begin testing on 12/21/12. The plan is that as soon as they clear the Moon they will test fire the main weapon. Hey, it’s been on their calendar for a long time…

    • crackedlenses

      Cue opening credits for Armageddon….

  • Jimmy P

    Perhaps the ETs have been here monitoring our ability and potential to blow ourselves up since we went nuclear at the end of WWII. Under that assumption ( work with me here ), they would not tolerate any effort that exponentially increases that possibility. They know how imperfect and hostile we truely are and they recognize our growing potential to anhilate ourselves. Not wanting to also suffer from that fate, they would subtly satotage any dark efforts on our part.
    I suggest we appoint a “fearless leader” to simply call them on the bat phone and petition them on this one … before we spend all that time and money ! Remember, they not only saw all the Star Wars movies, they likely lived them !

  • Sith Lord Idiot

    Only 25,000 people signed the petition?

  • Lawrence

    OMG! A “death star”??? Some have way too much idle time on their hands. I cannot believe someone would this this feasible? We should build several! That can’t be too expensive could it?

  • Lawrence

    I’ll try this again…OMG a Death Star??? Some PEOPLE have way too much time on their hands. I cannot believe someone would think this is feasible? We should build several! That can’t be too expensive could it?

  • Marcus Brown

    with the current plans to mine asteroids, it might be possible to hollow one out and turn it into a space station/construction facility, attach rockets too it and tow it to the dark side of the moon…

  • Mike Kloos

    i doubt whether there is enough steel on earth to even build the exterior