Obama crushes Death Star dreams

Pentagon budget cuts and sequestration finally got real to a portion of America’s populace — the portion that considers a day wielding a light saber as a day well spent.

Yes, the White House broke the hearts of more than 34,000 Americans who signed an online petition requesting President Obama to deliver a Death Star by 2016. The White House left Paul Shawcross, the chief of the Science and Space branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget, to explain why.

His excuse was typical for a Washington bureaucrat, the budget. Shawcross estimated that it would cost approximately $852,000,000,000,000,000 to build the Death Star citing a “study” by Lehigh University economics students.

Shawcross also said building a Death Star would strike against the White House policy against “blowing up planets.”

The White House did do their homework. Shawcross made the salient point that building a Death Star seemed fruitless considering a glaring weakness.

“Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?” Shawcross said in a statement.

The rest of Shawcross’ response loses much of its gusto for which it began as Shawcross tried to make the case for current military and NASA research projects. It just doesn’t hold up to the beginning. It’s almost like he’s mocking those 34,000 Americans who truly believed the construction of the Death Star could prop up the American economy. Sadly, Shawcross justified its dismissal because of that very deficit.

So there you have it Star Wars fans. The deficit ruins another perfectly good plan. And I guess the stubborness of the White House on the planet destroying policy.

About the Author

Michael Hoffman
Michael Hoffman is the executive editor at Tandem NSI and a contributor to Military.com. He can be reached at mhoffman@tandemnsi.com.
  • Cavorite

    Breaking news from a week ago.

  • BlackOwl18E

    That’s okay. The F-35 will cost just as much.

    • John Constantine

      LOL! Best laugh all week.

    • CRod
  • Nadnerbus

    Can we at least get a super star destroyer then?

    • Musson

      Are you going to lock your phasers onto Biance?

      • Musson

        Beyonce, that is.

        • Prodozul

          Baby steps man…with an AT-AT!

      • Steve

        phasors are for pussies ( IE Star trek)

  • Thomas L. Nielsen

    “….White House policy against “blowing up planets.” ”

    Since when?

    Regards & all,

    Thomas L. Nielsen
    Luxembourg

    • leroy

      There’s always one , liberal sad sack waiting around. Its nice having an opinion when your the holder of monies stolen by third world despots, you must be so proud of Luxembourg.

      regards
      The rest of the world

      • Thomas L. Nielsen

        In the imortal words of Sgt. Hulka:

        “Lighten up, Francis.”

        Regards & all,

        Thomas L. Nielsen
        Luxembourg (Expat Dane)

        • Thomas L. Nielsen

          …and that should be “immortal” words. Wretched spell check….

          Regards & all,

          Thomas L. Nielsen
          Luxembourg

      • TomUK
    • Phono

      Investing this money in a healthier planet seems not as impotant as buying some great entertainment. You could have done something substancial, I would like to say to the supporters …
      But it’s also a great deal of humor, on that side it has a big value. That brings people and State together.

    • Red

      Like those in Europe have any right to pass judgement on “blowing up planets”…

      WWI and WWII, anyone?

  • Matrix3692
  • bill thornton

    Lets make C3PO first….

  • Tom

    Damnnnnn, I want one, with the “flaw” corrected, of course.

    • Troooper2

      The manufacturer calls it a “feature”.

  • Mitch S.

    The fact they are so vehemently denying wanting to build it only proves the project is well on it’s way in the “black” budget and they are passing along disinformation.
    It may even be operational already – what do you think happened to the planet that was supposed to crash into Earth on Dec 21st?

    • Constantine

      The same thing that happened to Pluto. Zapped into oblivion.

  • Tribulationtime

    It will be better create a Jedi Knight MOS in first place.

  • Lance

    NAW, get the Star trek Genesis Torpedo better planet killer and your can repopulate the planet after usage.

    • Mitch S.

      Can’t fit a golf course on a torpedo.
      The Death Star can have multiple golf courses and luxurious homes for the officers, it’s the AF’s dream weapon system!

      • William A. Peterson

        THAT, of course, is a great reason NOT to invest in it! When was the last time the Chair Force got anything right?
        Anyways, I’m kind of with the President on not blowing up planets thing… at least until we get more than one planet!

      • riceball

        I guess you haven’t watched ST II, have you? It’s not about the torpedo itself but rather what the torpedo can do. For instance, we could take the Genesis device, set it off on the moon and we’d have an inhabitable moon. On the other hand, we take the same Genesis device and set it off on an inhabited planet it would wipe out all life on the planet and then recreate all of the flora and fauna minus any intelligent life forms. Better than a Death Star because it would cost a lot less money and instead of blasting a planet into smithereens we’d get a nice unihabited planet to do with as we please.

        • Thomas L. Nielsen

          Some rent-a-cop named Quaritch from something called the Resources Development Administration called (long distance call). He’d like a word with you about that idea….

          Regards & all,

          Thomas L. Nielsen
          Luxembourg

    • crackedlenses

      But then the rest of the world would start calling imperialists and colonialists and bullies and….

      Oh, wait, they already are. Never mind…..

      • Governor Tarkin

        Not that it would matter. We can always tone down the Death Star from planet-mode to country-mode.

  • Jacob

    Planets take millions of years to form and are valuable real estate to spacefaring civilizations. Why blow them up?

    • crackedlenses

      Just find the legendary planet of Magrophia, and it won’t be an issue.

    • walterc

      Because we can.

  • InterestedParty

    Defence news? Really? ;)

    C’mon give us some meaty stories/news. Not this banality. (Sorry :) !)

  • Hibeam

    How about an orbiting homeless shelter for welfare loafers?

  • Jsmith

    This whole petition system the WH has set up is a charade as well as a joke. It’s a joke to those who submit a proposal like this one, and a charade because Obama doesn’t care what people ask for — he pays attention to the ones he wants to (none, that I’ve heard about) and ignores the rest with some fancy footwork by one of his minions.

    • NativeSon

      You are quite the joke yourself, Jsmith. Imagine… you open that hole in your head and noise comes out!

      • top dog

        Or better yet, somebody should punch a hole behind his ear and let the dumbnest pour out…..heheheheheee!!!

  • JohnnyRanger

    Damn. If he’s going to keep wasting our (borrowed) money, at least he could spend it on something cool…

    • William A. Peterson

      Oh, if the Petition had been about building a Constitution-class Starship, a lot of his objections would have gone away! But, what do you expect from Lockheed? If it’s not Big, Bloated, and Hideously Flawed, they’re not interested!

  • Mastro

    Can we petition to have people added to Obama’s drone kill list?

    • NativeSon

      Yeah… or would you rather that he send American troops in to possible be killed in order to get rid of terrorists? Of course, he could of lied like the Shrub did and invade a soverign country…

      Yup. That’s just the way goobers roll!

  • NativeSon

    Dang… That was our ONE chance to get rid of Gingrich!

    • top dog

      No….there is still the Moon colony.

  • Carperry

    Incredible!! The Death Star representated the last best hope for our, the United Planets, to thwart the Empire! Curses!

  • LukeSkywalker

    The figure cited to build a death star is only a pre-production estimate. Imagine what it might be, if a death star were actually built.

    • walterc

      If defense procurement history is any guide, at least triple the estimated figure.

    • elmo

      wait until china build one

  • Diane

    What is wrong with you people. Try taking care of this planet before blowing up others. Get some common sense, please!!!

    • Thomas L. Nielsen

      Sense of humour! Do you have it?

      Regards & all,

      Thomas L. Nielsen
      Luxembourg

  • Sydney F. Haase

    it doesnt matter, we believe in a new world order. before long the un will be our government. we the people will be a memory. because we believe the government knows best.

    Semper Fi USMC ret

  • Adam Majkowski

    The pentagon is already destroying the planet. It doesn’t even need a one shot energy beam from space to do it.

  • TJRedneck

    Did he go thru Congress or issue an executive order?

  • JRL

    It’s obvious that Obama never served in the Viet Nam, because he would have realized that sometimes, in order to to save a planet, you have to destroy it.

  • E.M.H.
  • Tiger
  • XRay

    We need to get serious people to plan real military strategy for our future forces. The most advanced forces we have fought in the past 50 years are four guys with AK-47’s in the back of a 1972 Toyota pickup. Look back at the vast armada of equipment used against us, Toyota pickups. Who are we kidding. There is noone anywhere on earth that could even put up a good fight. Smaller, mobile, smarter are what we need. I like the drones, I think we could beat almost anyone with just the drone force.

  • Yauncy Alkire

    China, can we have some more money?! ^_^

  • Mark

    Hows about just a space-based weapons platform for the new Laser weaponry? One that could be maneuvered over “hotspots” and just melt down whatever we wanted out of the picture! Iranian nuclear reactor sites – vaporized! North Korean nuclear sites – vaporized! Just like in the movies.

  • SFP

    ‘sigh’……i told you so…… and why not just go with space colonies instead? and you just HAD to build a death star…..

  • Albert

    I must say that’s a huge budget estimated for death star dream. And Obama did the right thing by crashing such dream!! Although I didn’t even have exact count of the amount fixed by Chief of Science Space branch.

  • Andrew

    These are the items from the Star Wars, Star Trek and Battlestar Galatical universe which I would like to see in real life
    – A, B, X-Wing, Battlestar Viper fighters
    – Imperial Shuttles
    – Corellian Corvettes
    – MC-90 Mon Calamaria Cruisers
    – Republican Star Destroyers
    – NCC-1701D Star Trek cruisers
    – Battlestar Galatical space cruiser etc